My thoughts. v10

Used to be that I was so arrogant to think that I am to be within a different category than that of humanity.
But if the definition of different races is as shallow as the color of your skin, maybe something deeper would be considered a genetic diversion as well?
To fully comprehend my train of thought, you should see this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=vA99YLSHtb4

I think a lot like them. Like Legion. They compare humanity to the Geth quite flawlessly in mathematical terms.
Listening to them is like watching a ballet; graceful, tender, beautiful.
Even though they are hard facts and observations, Legion manages to put it in a way that makes me fully understand how they think.
It gives them value and for that I adore them. Like me, Legion does not think through emotions.
They use the data gathered to create a consensus in order to achieve the best possible solution.
Much in the same way that I do.
Because think about it...
To act through emotion is very much like having a pack of TNT blow up prematurely because it was hurt.
It saw you place it and hold the button, but before you actually push the button it explodes nonetheless.
Thus the explosion was premature for you had not yet completed the action of pushing the button and activating the charges.
You might very well have stopped and changed your mind.
But because the TNT acted out on its emotions it is now too late.
I try not to think through emotions. I try to think the way Legion does. By evaluating data and reaching a consensus.
In my point of view it makes me a better person. Some would claim that I have become closer to God.
Too bad then, that I don't believe in him.
But it makes me different -- in fact very different -- from other human beings.
Some would call me heartless, some would claim the opposite.
In the end it's all just a matter of perspective.

http://www.wimp.com/viewpoints/

That is all.

Thank you.

My thoughts. v9

I've started to think forward a bit more than I usually do, treading outside the boundaries of my personal safe zone.
Not so much that it causes me distress. I am merely exploring how far out I can go without being prosecuted.
So many people know my schemes, my ideas. They listen to me, they take in what I say.
But I can clearly see that in their eyes I'm just a fool. That we cannot contradict society.
I remember asking someone about life when I was younger.
He'd experienced a far more disturbing youth than I have, so I couldn't help myself but feel ashamed for being sad myself.
Compared to him, my life was a walk on the beach lined out with rose petals.
I wondered how he kept his hopes up. I wondered how he could smile. I wondered how he could avoid hating everything about himself.
"How could I...", he replied "...when this life is all I know?".
Indeed it was all he had. And how can you truly hate something where there is no alternative?
However, seeing other people in pain...

It hurts inside.

I know I cannot save them all, that I have done what I could.
I've saved more people than I can fully remember. None of which I have contact with today.
They left me with a 'thank you' but I'm happy nonetheless. I never asked for anything in return.
Making people happy makes me happy in return. <u>That</u> has true value. Something that money or debt cannot dream of replicating.
And it's funny to think how flawed I truly am. Just like you, I've made mistakes. It's how we learn.
The schools and media slander this proclamation, claiming that mistakes is the worst thing you can ever make.
It's like we're still fully christian, clinging to the belief that we are meant to be perfect but we simply are not.
I do believe that we are destined for something great. I do believe there is hope.
Recently I had that feeling again... The feeling we all would have in my world.
A constant sense of calm, happiness and unconditional love.
There was no god in sight. Not that there would be anyway:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=6RT6rL2UroE

It's an outdated system. God does not belong in this world anymore.
Now I know, I know... According to the Mesopotamians there are still a few thousand years left until Jesus is to abdicate.
There are signs, I've seen them. People are very slowly waking up. I am not the first and I'm certainly not the last.
But for now it is quite lonely here. Few speaks my language anymore. So much has been lost and forgotten, waiting to be rediscovered.
I am happy because you who read all this, and who manages to read between the lines, are one of the few who has opened their eyes.
We are awaiting for us to return to our former glory, to create a new Atlantis.
There are so many ideas and yet I am just a child.

What would I achieve if I were a world leader?

My thoughts. v8

So I've been thinking, as I do ever so often, however, this time about what to do with my life.
I haven't really come up with anything new per say, but this is a blog about my thoughts.
Also, since I probably won't be alive by the time my ideas starts to affect society I should try to do something while waiting.
Wouldn't really hurt, I suppose, even if I still do not share the common belief that "more is better".
We are so caught up in what we are told and we keep walking the same path over and over again.
I'd much rather discover new paths and I know you would too. Frankly, who wouldn't?
Fear controls us more than we want to admit.
It drives us to do stupid things and to abandon our path.
The fear of dying, mostly. The fear of being hurt, either in physical or mental form, perhaps both.
And once again, that makes me sad.

Anyway, back to the topic at hand:

Since I really like playing games and it's basically the only thing I've done since I was 6 years old, I figured I could be a professional gamer.
Now, I'm not sure if I have what it takes. I'm not much of a 'people person'. Most of the time I'm only funny without realizing it myself.
When I actually <u>do</u> try to be funny... Well, I'm not.
And to be completely honest, I pretty much suck at video games. I have nothing in comparison to the people competing for the MLG title.
I'm hardly even decent. At least that's how I feel.
I could be a singer, but I don't have the charisma to chase that dream. I'm too lazy to make an effort. Pretty much in the same way that a spider is lazy for spinning a web and waiting for its food. I just wait for the right opportunity.
Acting has always been one of my strongest sides.
Lying and acting my way out of tricky situations was a must in my childhood.
It kept me afloat.
Right now I'm getting into more trouble than I manage to avoid, but I'm trying to stop lying.
It's hard, but I try. I always do my best.

Now I'm too tired to write anything else.

Good night.

My thoughts. v7

Rather than speaking directly to someone, I felt like speaking to myself instead. 
Although I rarely truly talk to myself. 
I speak to whomever listens. 

Recently I've been feeling down, far more so than usual. 
The kind of sadness you get when a loved one pass away. 
But as far as I know none has, so I'm not quite sure why. 
I've been reading a book that speaks of the true origin of mankind. 
Somehow it makes me smile to think of how innocent and ignorant we are. 
That we walk around constantly believing that we are at the pinnacle of scientific progress. 
That we are currently in our prime. 
We forget far too often that science is not just a tool for establishing facts. 
It's a means of discovering and understanding. 
Facts indicate things that cannot change. 
Well, science does not stand for that. 
It's supposed to be the one instance in the world that is forever changing. 
Constantly molding itself in harmony with the universe. 
You don't have to be an intellectual savant to see this. 
Especially since it has been done so many times before. 
Far many more times than you'd believe. 
Even I cannot fathom the digits. 
Some say that time repeats itself and in this case it's true. 
When we encounter something that we do not understand, what do we do? 
Of course we attempt to understand it! 
But if that doesn't work? What then? 
Then you take that discovery and you force it to fit into your perceptions. 
Imagine that being applied to standard home situations. 
Would you go to a crime scene and place evidence that proves your theory? 
Would you punish your cat when you misplace your car after a party, because you think you're not irresponsible enough to get drunk in the first place, so it couldn't possibly have been you? 
And, I think you'll recognize this one... 
Would you wage a war, claiming thousands of innocent lives, because a bearded invisible old man who live in the clouds told you that it was okay? 

But why do we do this? 
Why, if we cannot instantaneously find the correct answer, do we make something up as we go? 
Because we're afraid. 
I've come to the conclusion that there is one single fear that drives us all. 
The fear of the unknown. 
Are you afraid of losing your job? 
Probably because you don't know how you'll manage to pay your taxes without it. 
Are you afraid of the dark? 
Probably because you can't see what's right in front of you. 
Are you afraid of death? 
Probably because you don't know what's on the other side. 
Fear of the unknown is the one fear that we all share. 
And in an attempt of familiarizing the unknown, we make things up. 
I'll admit, I'm afraid of it too. I'm only human. 
But that doesn't stop me. 
I will keep discovering even if I am afraid. 
Even if it shakes the very foundation of how I see the universe... I will keep going. 
Fear makes us suffer so much and it makes me sad to see how paralyzed we are. 
We have the potential, we have the technology and we have had it for longer than we know. 
In fact, it's been with us for so long that we refuse to accept it. 
It just doesn't fit. We don't understand it. We attempt to force it into our narrow perspective of the universe. 
A hundred years ago a man named Nikola Tesla was researching energy sources. 
He discovered that the entire planet is an energy source ready to be tapped by those who simply knew how. 
And he did. He invented a wireless light bulb that lit up on touch. 
Some were even so potent that they lit up as soon as someone was in the room. 
He even constructed a large tower over his house that was capable of transmitting this energy. 
He used it to drive around in his car for several hours. 
His theories and teachings are also confirmed by men such as Albert Einstein. 
Not only that, but there's evidence of its existence everywhere if you know where to look. 
That's not science-fiction! That's science! 
Re-defining our point of view. That is true science. 
Another man who lived at the same time as Nikola had found a potential cure to all diseases in human history. 
And yet another one found out how to levitate large objects. 
They all had something in common apart from being true scientists. 
All their progress was destroyed and their research was confiscated by the FBI. 
These are things that we have already almost achieved 100 years ago. 
Imagine what we could do today! 

But we don't, do we..? 

We don't, because we are afraid. 

I wish I could invite you all to my world. I wish I could show you what it feels like. 
A world where everyone care about each other. 
Where there are no politicians telling us what to do. 
Where all kinds of violence has become inadequate. 
A world free from the boundaries of a monetary system. 
Where there would be no disease. 
Where people like you and I could contribute just by being who we are. 


Rise towards the stars with me.

My thoughts v.6

These will mainly be some random scribbles, as I don't feel very well today. 

My belief, that the soul is a traveling entity and our bodies are just mere vessels, does not originate from me.
I heard about an alien abduction a while back... 
No, not like that. 
The alien wasn't the one abducting... 

It told the federal agents about its beliefs. It rarely answered questions directly. 
Everyone in the room could hear the creature speak, even though it didn't move a muscle. 
They also experienced it as though there were several different voices. 
One could hear a woman, one heard an old man and another didn't hear anything at all. 
He just received pictures in his mind that gave him a hum of what it wanted to tell him. 
It said that the spirit is a traveler and that the body is a vessel used to experience this plane of reality. 
Whether this actually came from an alien or not, it still confirmed my beliefs. 

I read a book about the 'Ancient African Gods' recently. It speaks of science long since forgotten and truths clouded by superstition. 
One of the things that fascinated me was the part about Nikola Tesla and his inventions. 
He saw the planet as a massive source of energy ready to be tapped. 
Undeniably clean, efficient, wireless and most important of all... Infinite. 
Now, a clever slave such as yourself would ask yourself: "Well, if it is all of the things that you say, how come we don't use it"? 
Well... How could we use it? 
If we were to utilize it, the economic system would collapse. 
You can't sell air. There's too much of it. The same goes with eternal, renewable energy; you can't sell it. 
This sounds stupid. That's because it is stupid. 
But most of us shrug it off as we say "Hey, that's just life"! 
It is, because you chose it to be. 
Everything is based around the same ground rule in this society. 

'Every man for himself'. 

And I don't say 'man' in a symbolical way. I mean it quite literally, since we are programmed to be prejudice against women and basically anything that is different from us. 
You condemn what you do not understand. 
And if you don't understand it, you attempt to ignore it. 
If you can't ignore it, you fight it. 
And if you can't fight it, you kill it... 
Tesla had found a way to tap into the earth's limitless energy to create independent and fully wireless machinery. 
He made a light bulb that would light up on touch. Some of them were so potent that they didn't even need physical interaction. 
All that it took was that someone was in close proximity of the object. 
Now once again, why don't we use this technology? 
First of all, it was all destroyed and confiscated by the CIA. 
Secondly, gaining access to this type of energy would be the same thing as finding the cure for every disease in the world (which was actually found around 1917). 
It would result in millions losing their jobs because surgeons would have nothing to do anymore. 
The economic system would collapse. 
We need people to be sick. We need people to be poor. We need people to die. 
We build our lives from the death of others. 
And really... Why should we care? 
Around 2 human beings are being born every second. 
Who cares if you die? You are expandable. You can be replaced. 
You are a part of a machine and if you do not cooperate you will be terminated. 
In fact... The machine is so sophisticated that it can repair itself without anyone being in charge. 
The pieces that don't fit are thrown away, whilst more and more components are being pushed through the molds to create spare parts. 

Soon enough the time will come. I doubt my body will live to see it. It is far too early still. 
But soon... You will have to choose. 

Are you a Man or are you a Machine?

My thoughts. v5

I'm tired of arguing with humans. They're so predictable. 
According to their society there can only be one right answer. 
I don't think that's true. 
One might say that two is bigger than one. Another might say that three is bigger than two. 
Even though these individuals think differently, they are both right. 
I once told a person that I am strong. 
She didn't believe me, because "a strong person wouldn't be sitting by the computer all day". 
I told her that I am waiting. Waiting for what, she replied. 
For the world to change. 
As those of you who actually read this knows, the world will change. 
It will be better. 
But there is still a large gap until the day that happens. 
The stars have told us that we still have 500 years ahead of us before this change will occur. 
She said I wouldn't be alive in 500 years. 
I said that my body will die, but my soul will remain. 
"There is no such thing as a soul. It has been scientifically proven." 

That's when I gave up on the conversation. 
For in order to prove that something does not exist, needn't you know what it actually is? 
Such a statement is as narrow sighted and idiotic as it was for the scientists 500 years ago who explained the workings of the human body. 
People didn't know what they were looking at and so they claimed that it didn't exist. 

"You condemn what you do not understand." -Ezio Auditore da Firenze 

If you don't know what it is, how can you claim it does not exist? 
I admire your efforts in trying to understand the universe with your insignificant field of view, but it doesn't work the way you want it to. 
In order to understand, we must sometimes embrace what we do not understand. 
And to understand is not always to be able to explain it. You only need to accept it. 
Because, for all that we care, our knowledge means nothing on an astronomical scale. 
The entire history of our planet is just a second compared to the lifetime of the universe. 
What we think has no real meaning to the universe. 
It doesn't care. 
The world will keep spinning and the universe will keep expanding regardless of our efforts. 
You cannot disprove that of which you know nothing of. 
I suppose that's the full extent of all that I have written here today.

My thoughts. v4

I felt it was time to add a bit to this meager string of information about my mind. 

But I can't think of anything.

Confessions of a Broken Heart v2

I am not omnipotent. 
I am not a rock. 
I have feelings too. 
And I carry with me a broken heart, wherever I go. 
A very tiny, but pure object, that is afraid of the dark and does not want to be left alone. 
But I don't know how to interact with other people properly. 
I'm always so worried I'm not good enough. 
And in a way of defending myself, I lie. A lot. 
I enlarge the truth. 
I pretend to be who I want to be. Who I want people to see. 
But deep inside is only a single desire. 

I don't want to be alone.

My thoughts. v3

Being what I am is taking its toll upon me. 
I know that people are envious. 
I know that some feel sorry for me. 
I wish for none of these emotions... 
Generally I don't really wish for anything. 
And in truth, I am a very simple person. 
Yet very few can understand me. 
Very, very few... 
Sometimes it feels like I'm speaking a foreign language. 
Others cannot understand me. 
It gets very lonely. 
But in a few cases, the sadness I feel makes me smile. 
It is the only thing that makes me truly feel at home.

My thoughts. v2

Take our society, and purge it completely. 
Imagine that everything is so new and fresh, that even the physical laws must be tested again. 
A society that is currently within our grasp, should we cease the opportunity. 

The measurement of an intelligent society lies within its ability to harness energy. 
A level 1 society is able to utilize and harness the energy of an entire planet. 
A level 2 society is able to utilize and harness the energy of an entire solar system. 
A level 3 society is able to utilize and harness the energy of several solar systems at once. 
A level 4 society is able to utilize and harness the energy of the entire universe. 
Note that a level 2 society is already at the level of the entity that which we have come to call 'God'. 
The ability to create and destroy planets with the single push of a button. 
We have almost reached a level 1 society. 
We already hold the power to destroy an entire country with the push of a single button. 
So, if we continue to walk this path, what can we estimate? 
That once we reach level 1, we will destroy the planet. 
Once we reach level 2, we will destroy the system. 
At level three, we will destroy all surrounding systems. 
And pray to God that we do not reach level 4... 

Let's play with this thought for a bit, shall we? 
We'll pretend that gold is a very important metal, not only for trade, but for our health. 
Atomized into a fine powder, it can heal virtually any disease, with very little tampering of its genetic code. 
But... Uh-oh! Gold is not naturally produced in our solar system. What to do!? 
Well, we are a level 2 society. We can effectively harness the energy of our entire solar system. 
Through doing this, we travel to a new solar system that is rich with gold. 
But we have no efficient means of mining the ore. 
So we create the next best thing to slavery: Cloning! 
We take a stem cell from ourselves, and let it grow into a completely new race. 
Of course, we must remove its intelligence. 
We don't want a slave that can think for himself. 
Upon our first successful prototype, let's call him Adam, we take one of his stem cells and create a mate for him. We could call her... Oh, I don't know... Eve, let's call her Eve. 
So we let Adam and Eve breed to complete this new race of slaves. 
We give them a small portion of our technology, enough for them to be able to use without fully understanding it. 
We give them ten basic rules to follow. We don't want things to spiral out of control, now, do we? 
And so, after a few thousand years of success, a movement starts to evolve. 
The newly formed slaves that we created are becoming increasingly intelligent and structured. 
They start to rebel... They came out of nowhere. We were not prepared. 
By using our weapons, they destroyed us, creating a tidal wave big enough to circle the planet three times over. 
Only a handful of the respective races survived. 
But we were all divided now. Humanity split into two factions; The ones who sought power, and the ones who pity the slaves. 
The slaves that survived were forced to start from scratch, only being able to use very basic technology such as creating fire and sharp objects in order to hunt and craft items. 
And so the battle grew among the higher ranks, humans fighting humans. 
The slaves living on the ground with their limited knowledge and their devolved brains didn't quite understand what was going on. 
In the confusion, they branded us as their gods. They were shaped by our direct intervention. 
Some believed that the right way to reach our height was to sacrifice slaves in our honor. 
They started killing each other mercilessly, the way that we did in the sky above. 
While some believed that the right way was to pity the smaller things, and use their strength to protect those who cannot protect themselves. 
After a while, humanity agreed on one thing: No matter what we do, what the slaves see will affect them. 
And so we decided to make peace, for now, and affect them in secrecy instead. 
Now we move in the shadows, among the clouds, always watching. Evaluating. Directing. 
Their Gods are gone. Some has even started to doubt our existence. 
But we are here. 
We are watching. 

Don't disappoint us... 


Now, that was a funny little fantasy, wasn't it? :)

My thoughts.

"HOW DO YOU EVEN HAVE THE DETERMINATION TO WRITE ALL OF THAT!?" 

"The better question would be, how can I have the strength to hold it all in?" 

I guess that's what caused this. 


Sometimes I feel sad. Alone. Misplaced. 
Like I am somewhere I am not meant to be. 
I have memories of things that has yet to happen. 
Things that most people would see as ridiculous. 
Ever since I was a child I felt like I didn't belong. 
Like there was something wrong with me. 
I spent many years trying to find out what it could be, but to no avail. 
For there was nothing wrong with me to begin with... 
I try to be as objective as I can in my research. 
I try to look at the full picture of things. 
I try to not avoid the truth, even if it may scare me. 
I try to refrain from using premature conclusions. 
I try, and this is the best I've come up with: 

I was born ahead of my own time. Approximately 500 years ahead. 
The world is very different then. 
There are no countries, no racism, no hatred against different sexual preferences, no politics, no lies, no laws and no monetary system. 
We live in harmony with each other and everything around us. 
Technology has advanced to that beyond our comprehension that we may have today. 
Spirituality and science is basically the same thing at that age. 
We do not close our eyes just because we do not understand something. 
In my time I am a healer. I have the same job as a surgeon, although, I work for the betterment of ones soul, rather than the body. 
Through our technology and our philosophy we are all connected to a massive network stretching across the entire galaxy. 
This network has many names that which I have forgotten. I call it the Source. 
The Source is the beginning and the end of all things. 
It contains all that has been, all that is and all that ever will be. 
By using this network I can see the essence of all living being. 
I am connected to everything in the entire galaxy. 

I am the galaxy. 

The bodies we have are mere vessels, a means to an end. 
A way of exploring this plane of reality. 
What matters is what's inside of us. 
Take a computer, and unplug it. What do you have left? 
People who are asked this generally say "A non functioning computer." 
That's not how I see it. 

Press the button, what happens? 
Nothing. 
It is in the equivalent state of a bucket. It doesn't do anything. 
Plug it back in, and it starts right up. 
So what is it that actually makes the computer? 
Is it the bucket, or the power source? 
I look at humanity in the same way. 
Our bodies are husks that help us navigate through this world, but in truth, we are so much more. 
And we are all connected to the most magnificent power source of all time, since before its time, time itself did not exist. 
The Universe. 

This is all I could think of right now... I suppose I'll post something more once I get in the mood.